My Dilemma: Spreading Near Drowning Awareness In Everyday Life

Hello there. Lately I've been walking this fine line between being a nosy person and being an advocate if you will. Ever since May 13th, 2011 I have been spreading the severity of the prevention of drowning. If you know me in everyday life you know how I am when it comes to littles and water. If you know me on the web, you see my posts, likes, and now you read my blog posts. I  don't preach many things but water safety is one of those things I am really passionate about. I don't preach really but I do try to use my words to reach out to others because drowning is 100% preventable. I don't constantly blog about it, talk about it, share things about it, but it's there. It's there in casual conversations, it's there at the beach, it's there while shopping, it's there at barbeques,  it's with me at my little coffee shop, it's always there. My little love is always with me, as is his strength and his struggles. 

That being said, my own strength and conscience is being tested. In our neighborhood, with the style of homes we live in and how close we are to each other, privacy is very hard to maintain. We pretty much hear each other's dogs bark, kids giggle, football games, etc. I have met some of the greatest people in this community that have become family because of the closeness we all share. 

Recently we had new neighbors move into a home on the lagoon four houses down to the right from mine. My first initial meeting with the new neighbors was about a month ago when my immediate neighbor on the right, Brittany,  and her baby Penelope, and I had our dogs out hanging in the yard. This is some what of a daily thing for us.  Out of an unknown direction, this little two year old boy speaking gibberish walked up to us wearing only a dirty diaper and a smile. We kept him occupied for nearly ten minutes with the dogs and Penelope until his parents and brother finally caught up to him and strolled over.  Hey new neighbors, welcome to the community. 

After a few crazy work days later Brittany and I caught up again and it was mentioned that the little boy made it a regular thing to greet them on their walks and stick around a few houses down from his until his parents or brother tracked him down.  

One day, a week or so later, a friend of mine came over and we chose to sit in our hammock tree swings out back. From my hammock swing we saw a boy roughly ten outside of his house (four houses down to my right) fishing in the lagoon with his little brother trailing him pushing his little tykes car on the walking path. Not a parent in sight. A few seconds later, his little two year old, dirty diaper wearing, gibberish speaking, little brother wanders off in our direction pushing his car. He made it five houses down from his own home pushing his car towards a rowdy puppy my immediate neighbor to my left  had just put on the leash. The owner had caught up to him just before he got in the leash zone and hollered at me that the dog would trip him and jump on the little boy if he came any closer. I told her that I didn't know where the child's parents were and that his brother was right there fishing at the water. On cue, the big brother came over and grabbed the boy and his car and pushed him all the way to his fishing area. It took the older boy yelling at the two year old to finally get the parents attention from inside the house, that their toddler was outside. Out they came yelling at the older boy for punishing his brother, not at one another for their lack of supervision. The whole episode was under ten minutes and the whole time my friend and I shook our heads speaking ill of the apparent lack of supervision in the household DIRECTLY ON the water. The two year old has yet to show any interest in the water but I know that it's only a matter of time. 

Two mornings later I was due into work at 8 am and my alarm woke me at 6 am. My dog rushed past me to head to the back door for his morning bathroom break and guess who I see outside pushing his little tykes car right past my house on the path without a parent or brother in sight? My other immediate neighbor  Christy, wakes up with the sun and enjoys her first cup of coffee on her morning walk with her yorkie, Ella. Thankfully, as I clipped Demo to his leash to do his business, Christy had tracked down the dirty diaper runaway and coaxed him back into the direction of his house. After a good two hours of stewing on my frustration I sent over a text to Christy asking if his roaming that early in the morning is a regular occurance and if he roams even more often than I see him considering I work 25 + hours a week.  Her response confirmed that his roaming had been on all of the five neighbors radar and was occuring more often than I had seen. Thankfully that morning had been the first morning she caught him roaming alone along the waters edge. She also said that no other soul was awake when she brought him home to his parents and that she had to walk into the bedrooms to wake anyone to inform them that their child had wandered out of their home at 6 am. At this point we are fairly confident that we passed the nosy neighbor line because it went into the child endagerment zone. 

Now, I've never been one to go out of my way to tell people the way they should be doing things much less, complete strangers.  I certainly don't go out of my way to tell people how to raise their children because coming from a person who has no children, I can see how that screams "I'm a big fat idiot who knows nothing." What I do know is this, lack of supervision is the greatest reason these children keep drowning. 

So in my conversations with Christy, a mother of two grown children, she tells me that before I call the authorites like I suggested who are swamped with parental issues in the state of  Hawaii, she would go out of her way to purchase door locks and other safety precautions for the family. Over the next day or so I really thought it over and realized that instead of being angry at the lack of supervision and judging the lack of effort on the parents part, I should spread the word on how easy it is for that baby to drown in his own back yard. She could just be a chill parent who doesn't sweat the small stuff. This could be an opportunity to spread the word on near drowning and to share Colton's story to someone who needs to hear it more than anyone. After all, Colton was just that two year old roaming unaccompanied on the side of the pool. Maybe she just really doesn't know? 

On my drive home from work I really tried to pump myself up and lose all of those angry feelings I had towards this mother. Part of which I know is because I will always be scorned that it took my little guy to experience this instead of someone else's but thats just a part of the grief that remains. That's human. I rehearsed a little speech in my head of all of the things I wanted to share with her, the statistics of near drowning, the brain damage it causes, and of how awesome my kick ass god son is.

 As I walked up to my house I caught Christy outside and had an opportunity to chat with her in person for the first time in a day and a half since I text her about the incident. This angel of a human being had gone and bought the locks and safety measurements she and I had talked about, brought them over to the mother, offered to install them or lend power tools to get the job done, AND talked to the mother. Christy knows all about Colton and his near drowning story. She informed the mom of the fact that the neighborhood has been watching her lack of supervision and it's a serious issue. She also shared with her Colton's near drowning story. 

I am disappointed to say that I haven't walked over to their house to share even more of my knowledge.I still randomly see the dirty diaper runaway usually with a parent or brother running behind him. Usually they are running immediately after him or around a minute or so and he's only within their own yard. The door locks have stopped about 80% of the break outs and the mother has caught her neighbors taking photos of her unattended child roaming outside. Her reaction time has been faster but her crappy parenting is still apparent. I haven't gotten my hands on the little boy to bring him back and lecture his mother. I've spoked with the neighbors and confirmed with Brady of our plan of action should we ever see him as far down as our home. It's not very much but it's something. I still don't know if they are just "letting boys be boys," or if they are just too lazy to get up and parent. I guess that isn't the type of question you ask a stranger. My fear is that one morning a neighbor is going to find him face down in the lagoon and his parents will still be dreaming in their beds. 

 If I am being 100% honest, I am disappointed in myself for not approaching them myself. I do take pride in the fact that I was able to share my words with someone who was able to pass them on directly to someone who needed them. Maybe that's what sharing near drowning information is all about, letting people know in casual conversations so the words could spread out through them. 

We have made it a point to include them in our back yard neighborly hang out sessions so hopefully a combination of all of these family activities end up being encouragements to stay involved. It still doesn't help my fears and anxiety though. Then again that could just be me because I was standing right there every step of  Colton's initial fight for his life and his triumphant fight ever since.  He's amazing and he's changing the lives of people he doesn't even know 6,000 miles away.  

Thank you for reading and spreading the word on near drowning prevention. You are helping save lives just by reading and spreading the word.

Erin

Also, I would like to hear any comments on what you would have done? Is there any advice you could give me towards the situation?


***** UPDATE: October 27, 2014

Within the week of my original posting of this one of our neighbors contacted the authorities and reported the supervision/ safety issue. Apparently the mother has gone back to her ways and is no longer using the preventative measure that were provided for her. Her son was found in the carports of their home roughly 50 feet away from their door and inside the doors of a car alone with no supervision. I commended the neighbor that turned them. Whom obviously was showing more concern for her sons life than she.